"Why boys need parents"

I got this in an e-mail from my aunt. I don't know who wrote it, so I can't give proper credit. It is just too good to keep to myself.

You find out interesting things when you have sons, like...

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.. ft.
house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It
is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four
walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before
you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by
a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too
late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old
Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool,you still can't
walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response
time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or
without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.

A sissy girl

After dinner tonight, my youngest and I were sitting at the table playing a game - a homework assignment. He had a penny he had to flip and he had to write down if it was heads or tails. He was supposed to write a '1' if it landed on heads or tails. He decided to color in the box for 'tails' instead of writing a '1'. I gave him an eraser to use to erase the colored-in area and then write in a '1'. My fingers met with his and I noticed his nails were long AGAIN. I just clipped them! I asked him why his nails were long already and he said, "Because I'm a sissy girl." I laughed and laughed! My older son, who was sitting in the living room, burst out laughing also. Then my youngest, the one who said he was a sissy girl, said "I am a sissy girl who does the cha-cha." That is a line from the movie 'Bruce Almighty.' My boys LOVE that movie! Immediately after he had said all this, I just *had* to get online and blog it!

Soccer

Last night when my husband and oldest son (11) came home from soccer practice, my husband quietly told me that he will not attend any more practices or games since our son yelled at him and told him not to talk to him during practice. It made no sense to me, so I asked him to expand on that. Apparently my husband was encouraging J to kick and dribble the ball, but J took offense or something and got mad. J told his dad not to holler or yell (that's not what he was doing) at him during games and/or practice. My husband got mad and that was the end of it.

Now I'm stuck attending all the practices and all the games... without my husband. I go normally, but it's nice to have someone to watch with. I told J last night at bedtime how hurt his dad was about all this and that he should really think about what he is saying to his dad and to be respectful of him. I said that his dad really enjoyed the practices and the games, but now he doesn't want to go because he's afraid if he says something, J will get angry with him.

Kids are not little adults. They don't think like we do and don't understand when adults take what they say in a different way than intended. I explained this to my husband but he was just too angry to let it sink in.

I hope that with a couple days of a cooling-off period that this blows over.

The hoodie came back

Yes, my friends, the hoodie did come back just in time for that kid to go to scouts! He also remembered to bring home the one he wore and forgot in the classroom. Now we have all coats/hoodies accounted for. Just in time for the rains. A storm is a'brewin out on the coast and headed inland!

The missing hoodie

Apparently last Thursday my child took his green hoodie to school, took it off, left it on the playground, went back into his classroom, came home..... without it. Friday he was to find it and bring it home, but apparently the playground ladies found it in a puddle and it was all wet. They said he couldn't bring it home all wet, so he'd have to wait over the weekend.

I asked him about it yesterday, if he'd gone to find it, and he said the playground ladies wouldn't let him have it. Hmmm..... why would that be?? My husband thinks he's lying. He is six. He tends to fib. I told him if he didn't bring it home today (Tuesday) that he wouldn't be able to go to scouts on Wednesday. He LOVES scouts. I told him to tell his teacher that he needs to bring home the missing hoodie. We'll see what happens.

When mommy's sick, kids just don't care

I still find it hard to comprehend kids' thinking sometimes. I had a rotten cold and was homebound for three days. My youngest, 6, wanted to play at a friend's house on Saturday and unfortunately it was around dinnertime for the friend. My husband told our son that he couldn't play over there at the time. Apparently my son asked his dad if another friend could come over to our house to play and his dad said, "No, because your mother is sick." Our son came into the house crying, and he came over to me and I asked why he was crying. He said, "I can't go play anywhere and nobody can come here because you're sick. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Oh dear! I told him he could play at someone's house the following day. He was just so upset and couldn't understand why no one could play at our house. I even tried to explain it to him and he was still sad.

Meanwhile, all weekend the kids tried to avoid doing their chores. They sat around watching t.v. or playing outside. I always encourage them to play outside, but of course I like them to do their chores first. Being sick, I really wasn't on top of my game. Finally, at almost the last moment (about an hour before dinner), I reminded them of their chores. They pouted, but they did them.

UGH! Kids.

Kids DO say the darndest things!

The temperatures have dropped here during the day and overnight, so we've put the woodstove in full swing, heating the house. At one point, the upstairs was so warm (almost 80 degrees!) that my husband said, "Wow, we could run around naked up here!" and my 11-year-old said, "That's disturbing. I'd run away for a week!" Ha ha! What a jokester! I laughed so hard I had to leave the room. And of course my husband was kidding.