I was happily working this morning when my son came into my home office with a baseball cap on his head. I said, "What is with your hair - you look like a girl." It looked as if he had pulled his hair up inside the cap. He took off the cap and proudly announced that he cut his hair. Now, let me tell you, I wish there were someone to take a picture of my expression because I know my mouth was wide open!
Yes, he cut his own hair. I asked why he did so and he said, "I wanted straight hair." This kid has (or had)the curliest hair and it's lovely but apparently he got sick of the curls. He said, "I like it." When I got a good look at his hair, I noticed that he has great clipping ability. However, there were long strands around his ears that just had to go.
I took him upstairs while telling him that he just needed to have some of it cleaned up a bit. I went into my bathroom to get my hair-cutting scissors and then back into his bathroom. I had him sit on the toilet and I wrapped a towel around him like they do at the barber shop. I only had to clip around the ears where the hair was still a bit long. While clipping, I asked him what scissors he used, and he said his school scissors. You know, the safety kind? Little-kid scissors? Yep, he used those.
After a bit of cutting, I decided it was good enough and told him that he'd be going to a barber after school today to get it so it looks more normal. I said, "If you wanted your hair cut, you should have told me or dad. We would have taken you to a professional who knows how to cut hair. Someplace like Trisha's." Trisha's is a barber shop up the road where he has gone before. K asked me, "Are you mad at me?" I said, "No, not really. I'm just surprised." He said, "I thought you'd be mad."
I couldn't pass up the chance to take pictures with my camera phone and post them on Facebook and e-mail my parents. I wanted to text my husband, who was not at home at the time, and attach a picture. I decided to wait until he got home to explain the whole scenario.
Anyway, K was ready to get outside and get on the bus and he said, "I hope they don't laugh at me." I said, "You like your hair, don't you? You said you liked it." He said, "Yeah, but I don't like people laughing at me." I said, "They may laugh, but maybe you could ask them if they have ever cut their hair. They probably haven't. You could say something like 'I wanted to try straight hair so I cut off my curls. I did it all by myself!' or something." I also didn't want his classmates to get the idea to do the same thing at home. OH! I should have taped a note to his hair that said "Don't try this at home." HA!!!
After K got off to school, I went back into the house and made a cup of coffee. Hubby came in and I said, "We had quite the morning already. Do you want to check your e-mail or Facebook? Or should I just tell you now?" He said, "Which kid?" I said, "K." He said, "Tell me now." So I went into every little detail about the hair and then a thought struck me - where were the curls??? We ran into K's room to see if we could find the cut hair. I checked the bathroom wastebasket but only saw the few bits that I trimmed off. Back into his bedroom - we checked the bed, the drawers, everywhere, but no hair. Back into the bathroom I went and dug deep into the wastebasket. I found a blob of curls down at the bottom. It was like he was trying to hide them. The blob resembled a dead animal. It appeared that K had tried to roll it all up into a ball or something.
I showed the pictures from my phone to hubby and all he said was, "Oh no. Oh no." He then said, "Guess I need to take him to a barber today. He's going to get pigshaved. That's what he gets for doing this." Actually, K's hair will get cleaned up a bit to make it look more uniform. At least he'll have a nice cut before my parents arrive next month. I was going to let him grow it out for a while and he had been fine with that. He must have just got tired of curly hair. I don't know. I'll never know. I now can totally say that kids are full of surprises.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
"This is the worst afternoon ever," he said
When J came home from school today, as soon as he walked in the door he said, "This is the worst afternoon ever." I looked at him (he was wearing a hoodie with the hood up) and asked what happened, and he said he had to cut gum out of his hair with scissors. Ok, my first thought was "oh gosh, it probably looks like a hack job on the back of his head." I said, "You should have waited until you got home so dad or I could get it out. You don't have to cut it off; you can use peanut butter." He looked suprised and asked how, and I said, "You put a blob of peanut butter on it and rub it around the gum and it dissolves." He simply said, "Oh." Anyway, I asked when this happened and he said, "On the bus." I asked if it was just now, on the way home, and he said it was. I asked what happened. Here is his story.
J was happily sitting on the bus, not bothering anybody (or so he says). W and some other kid were sitting in back of him and one of them put gum in his hair. J didn't realize it was gum, but felt something heavyish on his head. He put his hand up and felt the gum. He asked someone for scissors and cut the gum out.
Now... if it were YOU who had gum in your hair and you figured it came from someone behind you, wouldn't you get mad and turn around and say something??? I asked J if he got mad and if he said anything to the kids sitting in back of him and he said no. Hmm... I asked if they sat in back of him a lot. He said they did. He went on to say that they had been touching his hair for a few days. I said, "And you let them?? Why? I wouldn't let someone touch my hair all the time." He didn't say anything. I asked if this W person is the same W as is on his soccer team and he said yes.
Meanwhile, husband was sitting nearby using his computer, and he decided to give his two cents. He stated that he would have beat the crap out of the two kids who sat in back of J today. J didn't respond. What could he say? "Sure dad, next time I'll beat them up." Nah, that ain't gonna happen. J is a smaller dude than a lot of guys his age. So he's getting picked on because he's small and he doesn't fight back. He's letting these guys do things to him. So... husband and I both told J that these kids are going to keep messing with him because he doesn't do anything. J said he told the bus driver but apparently nothing happened with that.
I looked at the area where J cut the gum out of his hair and I am pleased to say that that kid really has snipping skills! I'd never have known there was gum in that spot.
Husband said to J, "On Monday, throw gum back at them." J said, "I can't do that." I agreed. I said, "He can't. He has braces and can't chew gum." Husband said, "Then take raisins and throw them at them." Raisins. HAHA!! We do have a box of Sun-Maid raisins that aren't being eaten...
J was happily sitting on the bus, not bothering anybody (or so he says). W and some other kid were sitting in back of him and one of them put gum in his hair. J didn't realize it was gum, but felt something heavyish on his head. He put his hand up and felt the gum. He asked someone for scissors and cut the gum out.
Now... if it were YOU who had gum in your hair and you figured it came from someone behind you, wouldn't you get mad and turn around and say something??? I asked J if he got mad and if he said anything to the kids sitting in back of him and he said no. Hmm... I asked if they sat in back of him a lot. He said they did. He went on to say that they had been touching his hair for a few days. I said, "And you let them?? Why? I wouldn't let someone touch my hair all the time." He didn't say anything. I asked if this W person is the same W as is on his soccer team and he said yes.
Meanwhile, husband was sitting nearby using his computer, and he decided to give his two cents. He stated that he would have beat the crap out of the two kids who sat in back of J today. J didn't respond. What could he say? "Sure dad, next time I'll beat them up." Nah, that ain't gonna happen. J is a smaller dude than a lot of guys his age. So he's getting picked on because he's small and he doesn't fight back. He's letting these guys do things to him. So... husband and I both told J that these kids are going to keep messing with him because he doesn't do anything. J said he told the bus driver but apparently nothing happened with that.
I looked at the area where J cut the gum out of his hair and I am pleased to say that that kid really has snipping skills! I'd never have known there was gum in that spot.
Husband said to J, "On Monday, throw gum back at them." J said, "I can't do that." I agreed. I said, "He can't. He has braces and can't chew gum." Husband said, "Then take raisins and throw them at them." Raisins. HAHA!! We do have a box of Sun-Maid raisins that aren't being eaten...
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Immature 13
Ok, I don't know if it's because he's an ADD child, an adopted child, or what, but J's babyish talk has got to stop. This morning he said in a very high-pitched and childlike voice, "Hi mommy." My husband, who was sitting in the living room and in earshot, said something like, "He's being three." I asked J, who is 13, why he talked like that. He said, "Because it's silly." I said, "No, it's not silly, it sounds ridiculous coming from a teenager. You need to stop it. Now." He just said 'okay' and moved on.
He's a tiring kid sometimes. I had a long talk with husband about it yesterday and I said I thought J was regressing. Husband thinks J is trying to compete with K (7) for our attention. We share the love - we don't play favorites between the kids.
Sometimes Jared's maturity level is way down. We know he was neglected in his birth home and he probably didn't get the nurturing he needed. A lot of times he acts like he is 3, 4 or 5 years old. He doesn't do the temper tantrum thing, but his voice goes to a higher pitch and babyish. Some days are better or worse than others. I hope he listened to me when I said 'you need to stop it' and stops it.
He's a tiring kid sometimes. I had a long talk with husband about it yesterday and I said I thought J was regressing. Husband thinks J is trying to compete with K (7) for our attention. We share the love - we don't play favorites between the kids.
Sometimes Jared's maturity level is way down. We know he was neglected in his birth home and he probably didn't get the nurturing he needed. A lot of times he acts like he is 3, 4 or 5 years old. He doesn't do the temper tantrum thing, but his voice goes to a higher pitch and babyish. Some days are better or worse than others. I hope he listened to me when I said 'you need to stop it' and stops it.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Last week of the quarter
My son J has until this Friday to get his act together and bring up all his grades. Friday is the last day of the term/quarter. He can try and make up any missed assignments and get them handed in. I hope he is able to manage this small task. If his next report card shows mostly A's and a couple B's, then he gets back all electronics that were taken away (cell phone, Nintendo DS and games, other handheld games, use of family Wii). You'd think that would make any 13 year old jump for joy. We'll see.
The other day I had checked online grades and saw that he was dinged 15 points on a Language Arts assignment. When he was asked why he didn't complete it, he said, "I didn't want to. I don't like doing it." Oh wow, what an awful lot of emotions that were going through me at that moment! I told him that in the working world, if you find something that you don't want to do and avoid it, you'd most likely get fired. He is so lazy and irresponsible and it annoys the heck out of me! There must be a way to get past this. There must be a book to tell us parents what to do besides throwing in the towel (which, by the way, I refuse to do because I believe in my child and I know he has the capability of doing better).
How do you get a young teen to realize his potential???
The other day I had checked online grades and saw that he was dinged 15 points on a Language Arts assignment. When he was asked why he didn't complete it, he said, "I didn't want to. I don't like doing it." Oh wow, what an awful lot of emotions that were going through me at that moment! I told him that in the working world, if you find something that you don't want to do and avoid it, you'd most likely get fired. He is so lazy and irresponsible and it annoys the heck out of me! There must be a way to get past this. There must be a book to tell us parents what to do besides throwing in the towel (which, by the way, I refuse to do because I believe in my child and I know he has the capability of doing better).
How do you get a young teen to realize his potential???
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Redo, redo, redo
Well, after my husband returned from conferences with J's teachers, it looks like J will be one busy boy today and through next week which is Spring break. J is able to redo assignments that got poor grades (F, D, C) and he's also able to retake two Math tests that he failed. YAY!
When hubby and I were speaking to J at lunch today, we stressed the importance (yet again) of bringing his grades up. J was upset about the Math assignments that he swore he handed in, but I asked him if maybe he just didn't hand them in because he didn't want to do them. He swore he handed them in. I asked J if he thought his study habits were a problem and he simply said, "No." I asked if he thought he had it all together and he said, "Yes." I said, "Then by all means, keep going the route you're going. If you think things are hard now, just wait until you get into high school. It's even worse there. But if you think you have it under control, by all means, keep doing what you're doing." Hubby agreed with me and reiterated what I said and put it into his own words.
If J can spend all the time in the world playing board games and card games, he apparently has a whole lot of extra time that he can spend studying. We ask him every day if he has homework and he says 'no.' Apparently his teachers say different. He should have something each and every day.
Oh, and get this - J has to rewrite some papers that he claimed to have handed in and/or that got poor grades, and he never saved them to his flash drive because he used the computers at school. I told him to get in the habit of saving everything no matter where it's typed up. Save, save, save!
Well, anyway, as is usually the case after hubby and I talk to J about school, he clams up. He's usually pretty silent and tends to tear up and cry. Today, he basically kept his mouth closed unless asked to say something. I asked him how he felt about his grades and what we want him to do (redo the assignments that were either missing or got low grades) and he said, "I don't know." I said, "Oh, I'm sure you know. You might say 'to heck with you' or something. I know you have something to say." He did go on to say he didn't understand why he got low grades in Math and we explained that it was during a time earlier this year when a substitute teacher was present. The actual teacher did state that he'd look over grades when he returned, and in this case, our child would be able to retake tests and redo assignments.
I just hope we are going in the right direction with J. He knows how we feel, but I don't know if it will actually sink in. Will he get his act together and actually try the next time? His dad and I both told him that we know how hard school is because we went through it also. We want him to do well. His teachers know he is capable of doing better. Why can't he just TRY????
When hubby and I were speaking to J at lunch today, we stressed the importance (yet again) of bringing his grades up. J was upset about the Math assignments that he swore he handed in, but I asked him if maybe he just didn't hand them in because he didn't want to do them. He swore he handed them in. I asked J if he thought his study habits were a problem and he simply said, "No." I asked if he thought he had it all together and he said, "Yes." I said, "Then by all means, keep going the route you're going. If you think things are hard now, just wait until you get into high school. It's even worse there. But if you think you have it under control, by all means, keep doing what you're doing." Hubby agreed with me and reiterated what I said and put it into his own words.
If J can spend all the time in the world playing board games and card games, he apparently has a whole lot of extra time that he can spend studying. We ask him every day if he has homework and he says 'no.' Apparently his teachers say different. He should have something each and every day.
Oh, and get this - J has to rewrite some papers that he claimed to have handed in and/or that got poor grades, and he never saved them to his flash drive because he used the computers at school. I told him to get in the habit of saving everything no matter where it's typed up. Save, save, save!
Well, anyway, as is usually the case after hubby and I talk to J about school, he clams up. He's usually pretty silent and tends to tear up and cry. Today, he basically kept his mouth closed unless asked to say something. I asked him how he felt about his grades and what we want him to do (redo the assignments that were either missing or got low grades) and he said, "I don't know." I said, "Oh, I'm sure you know. You might say 'to heck with you' or something. I know you have something to say." He did go on to say he didn't understand why he got low grades in Math and we explained that it was during a time earlier this year when a substitute teacher was present. The actual teacher did state that he'd look over grades when he returned, and in this case, our child would be able to retake tests and redo assignments.
I just hope we are going in the right direction with J. He knows how we feel, but I don't know if it will actually sink in. Will he get his act together and actually try the next time? His dad and I both told him that we know how hard school is because we went through it also. We want him to do well. His teachers know he is capable of doing better. Why can't he just TRY????
Can he just get it together already??
You know, it is so hard raising a child who does not care one iota if his grades are poor. Hubby and I can talk to him until we are blue in the face and it doesn't faze him one bit. J turned 13 and his lazy attitude towards school is taking its toll on his dad and I.
J has three Honors classes this year, in 7th grade, and he's pretty much doing poorly in all of them. The only class he is getting an 'A' in is Computer Keyboarding. He has Math (which he claims is his favorite subject), Literacy/Reading (which I know he dislikes), World History (an Honors class), Language Arts (another Honors class), and Life Science (Honors, yet again). Before J started 7th grade, he had to be screened (he took a test at the school district's main office in town) along with a few dozen other kids. Only so many made it into the Honors program, and J was one of them. We did ask him, before he took the test, if he really and truly wanted to be in the program. His answer was, "Yes." In order to stay in the program, the grades for Honors classes can fall no lower than B-. He's averaging C's and D's.
What really gets me is that J doesn't give his all. He doesn't try. He'd rather do as little as he can to get by. This annoys the heck (for lack of a better word) out of me and my husband. I don't know if it's something that comes from his earlier childhood (before we brought him into our home) or what. He'd much rather play board games or torment his little brother than do any sort of school work.
This morning as hubby was looking in the boys' rooms for cleanliness (or lack thereof), he saw J's school notebook sitting in his room. Bad sign. J needs that book for all his classes. Since the notebook was here at home, we decided to look through it to see if J was following through on his promise to keep it organized - all papers in place and in their proper folders, sorted by subject. We found a Math assignment in the folder for Reading; graded papers which showed J's lack of knowledge and/or preparedness of the subject; scribbled pages; doodled papers. I know he has ADD, but he does take meds. He was recently re-evaluated and the meds do seem to be doing the trick as far as keeping him less hyper and loud, and he can stay on task when it's something he really enjoys.
The kids get out early all this week because of parent-teacher conferences. We already saw K's teacher, so today it's time to visit J's teachers. Sadly, I have to work and will be home when the kids get home, but hubby will go to the middle school and talk with all J's teachers and maybe get some advice or opinions on how to get J more focused on school.
Part of me wants to let J fail and fall deep into the pit he's been digging for himself. Part of me wants him to do that and then figure out how to get out. Another part of me wants to see him figure it out and turn himself around and be a good student. Sometimes I think a boot camp is the place for him. I don't know. Hubby and I have had numerous discussions on the topic of J's grades and lack of wanting to do well. We've taken away privileges (no Nintendo DS, no cell phone, no Wii playing) and it just doesn't seem to matter to J. We are at the point where we might put a lock on the game closet (where all the board games are), but that's not fair to K. It doesn't seem to matter to J that he doesn't have these things anymore. That's what is so irritating! What will it take for him to change his attitude? I have no idea.
J has three Honors classes this year, in 7th grade, and he's pretty much doing poorly in all of them. The only class he is getting an 'A' in is Computer Keyboarding. He has Math (which he claims is his favorite subject), Literacy/Reading (which I know he dislikes), World History (an Honors class), Language Arts (another Honors class), and Life Science (Honors, yet again). Before J started 7th grade, he had to be screened (he took a test at the school district's main office in town) along with a few dozen other kids. Only so many made it into the Honors program, and J was one of them. We did ask him, before he took the test, if he really and truly wanted to be in the program. His answer was, "Yes." In order to stay in the program, the grades for Honors classes can fall no lower than B-. He's averaging C's and D's.
What really gets me is that J doesn't give his all. He doesn't try. He'd rather do as little as he can to get by. This annoys the heck (for lack of a better word) out of me and my husband. I don't know if it's something that comes from his earlier childhood (before we brought him into our home) or what. He'd much rather play board games or torment his little brother than do any sort of school work.
This morning as hubby was looking in the boys' rooms for cleanliness (or lack thereof), he saw J's school notebook sitting in his room. Bad sign. J needs that book for all his classes. Since the notebook was here at home, we decided to look through it to see if J was following through on his promise to keep it organized - all papers in place and in their proper folders, sorted by subject. We found a Math assignment in the folder for Reading; graded papers which showed J's lack of knowledge and/or preparedness of the subject; scribbled pages; doodled papers. I know he has ADD, but he does take meds. He was recently re-evaluated and the meds do seem to be doing the trick as far as keeping him less hyper and loud, and he can stay on task when it's something he really enjoys.
The kids get out early all this week because of parent-teacher conferences. We already saw K's teacher, so today it's time to visit J's teachers. Sadly, I have to work and will be home when the kids get home, but hubby will go to the middle school and talk with all J's teachers and maybe get some advice or opinions on how to get J more focused on school.
Part of me wants to let J fail and fall deep into the pit he's been digging for himself. Part of me wants him to do that and then figure out how to get out. Another part of me wants to see him figure it out and turn himself around and be a good student. Sometimes I think a boot camp is the place for him. I don't know. Hubby and I have had numerous discussions on the topic of J's grades and lack of wanting to do well. We've taken away privileges (no Nintendo DS, no cell phone, no Wii playing) and it just doesn't seem to matter to J. We are at the point where we might put a lock on the game closet (where all the board games are), but that's not fair to K. It doesn't seem to matter to J that he doesn't have these things anymore. That's what is so irritating! What will it take for him to change his attitude? I have no idea.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Awwwwww!!
Last night as I was driving K home from choir practice at church, I mentioned to him that next week his dad would have to take him to choir practice because I would not be able to. He asked why not, and I answered by saying that I would be out of town. He asked where I was going and I reminded him that I would be in Arizona. He sadly said, "Oh." He then asked, "How long are you gonna be gone?" I replied, "Just a few days." Again, he sounded so sad and he said, "Oh." I reassured him by saying, "I'm coming back. I am not leaving you forever. I will only be gone for about five days." He said, "Oh." I then told him that I would call him every day. His voice sounded surprised and he asked, "You can??" I said, "Sure I can! I can talk to you every day." He replied with a very happy "Ok!" The sadness he originally had in his voice broke my heart. I had to cheer him up. It was a total "aww" moment.
During choir practice, there were try-outs for various parts of the musical that the kids are putting on in June. K tried out for a couple parts and totally flubbed the first two tries on one part, but the third time he did it perfectly. I was so proud of him! However, when he came to sit down by me after he was finished, he was totally down in the dumps. He said, "I want to quit Praise & Company." I said, "Why? You have fun doing it, don't you?" He said, "Yeah, but I messed up and I feel stupid." I told him this: "This is your very first time trying out for something and it's normal to mess up. I am proud of you for even trying. You did just fine." He looked sad and miserable and said, "I just think I should quit." I said, "You won't know if you got any of the parts you tried out for if you just quit. Keep trying. You are doing just fine." I put my arm around him and he snuggled close and I kept telling him how proud I was of him. He seemed to forget his disappointment in himself and was able to go on with the choir practice when the try-outs were done.
This morning, hubby and I went to K's school to watch him get a Cougar Pride Certificate during an assembly. The certificates are awarded to students who have shown major improvement in school. Well, K got an award for listening to directions and basically being a good kid this past week and guess what? It has to do with him being on ADHD meds. He had his first full week of them last week and his good behavior got him an award. When the assembly was over, K came up to hubby and me and said, "This is weird. Every time you or dad come to the Cougar Pride assembly, I get an award. When you don't come, I don't get an award. You bring me good luck!" Cute!!!! The school mails out a letter to the parents in advance, letting them know their child will receive an award and informing them to attend the assembly. I'm not about to let K in on that secret!
During choir practice, there were try-outs for various parts of the musical that the kids are putting on in June. K tried out for a couple parts and totally flubbed the first two tries on one part, but the third time he did it perfectly. I was so proud of him! However, when he came to sit down by me after he was finished, he was totally down in the dumps. He said, "I want to quit Praise & Company." I said, "Why? You have fun doing it, don't you?" He said, "Yeah, but I messed up and I feel stupid." I told him this: "This is your very first time trying out for something and it's normal to mess up. I am proud of you for even trying. You did just fine." He looked sad and miserable and said, "I just think I should quit." I said, "You won't know if you got any of the parts you tried out for if you just quit. Keep trying. You are doing just fine." I put my arm around him and he snuggled close and I kept telling him how proud I was of him. He seemed to forget his disappointment in himself and was able to go on with the choir practice when the try-outs were done.
This morning, hubby and I went to K's school to watch him get a Cougar Pride Certificate during an assembly. The certificates are awarded to students who have shown major improvement in school. Well, K got an award for listening to directions and basically being a good kid this past week and guess what? It has to do with him being on ADHD meds. He had his first full week of them last week and his good behavior got him an award. When the assembly was over, K came up to hubby and me and said, "This is weird. Every time you or dad come to the Cougar Pride assembly, I get an award. When you don't come, I don't get an award. You bring me good luck!" Cute!!!! The school mails out a letter to the parents in advance, letting them know their child will receive an award and informing them to attend the assembly. I'm not about to let K in on that secret!
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