"This is the worst afternoon ever," he said

When J came home from school today, as soon as he walked in the door he said, "This is the worst afternoon ever." I looked at him (he was wearing a hoodie with the hood up) and asked what happened, and he said he had to cut gum out of his hair with scissors. Ok, my first thought was "oh gosh, it probably looks like a hack job on the back of his head." I said, "You should have waited until you got home so dad or I could get it out. You don't have to cut it off; you can use peanut butter." He looked suprised and asked how, and I said, "You put a blob of peanut butter on it and rub it around the gum and it dissolves." He simply said, "Oh." Anyway, I asked when this happened and he said, "On the bus." I asked if it was just now, on the way home, and he said it was. I asked what happened. Here is his story.

J was happily sitting on the bus, not bothering anybody (or so he says). W and some other kid were sitting in back of him and one of them put gum in his hair. J didn't realize it was gum, but felt something heavyish on his head. He put his hand up and felt the gum. He asked someone for scissors and cut the gum out.

Now... if it were YOU who had gum in your hair and you figured it came from someone behind you, wouldn't you get mad and turn around and say something??? I asked J if he got mad and if he said anything to the kids sitting in back of him and he said no. Hmm... I asked if they sat in back of him a lot. He said they did. He went on to say that they had been touching his hair for a few days. I said, "And you let them?? Why? I wouldn't let someone touch my hair all the time." He didn't say anything. I asked if this W person is the same W as is on his soccer team and he said yes.

Meanwhile, husband was sitting nearby using his computer, and he decided to give his two cents. He stated that he would have beat the crap out of the two kids who sat in back of J today. J didn't respond. What could he say? "Sure dad, next time I'll beat them up." Nah, that ain't gonna happen. J is a smaller dude than a lot of guys his age. So he's getting picked on because he's small and he doesn't fight back. He's letting these guys do things to him. So... husband and I both told J that these kids are going to keep messing with him because he doesn't do anything. J said he told the bus driver but apparently nothing happened with that.

I looked at the area where J cut the gum out of his hair and I am pleased to say that that kid really has snipping skills! I'd never have known there was gum in that spot.

Husband said to J, "On Monday, throw gum back at them." J said, "I can't do that." I agreed. I said, "He can't. He has braces and can't chew gum." Husband said, "Then take raisins and throw them at them." Raisins. HAHA!! We do have a box of Sun-Maid raisins that aren't being eaten...

Immature 13

Ok, I don't know if it's because he's an ADD child, an adopted child, or what, but J's babyish talk has got to stop. This morning he said in a very high-pitched and childlike voice, "Hi mommy." My husband, who was sitting in the living room and in earshot, said something like, "He's being three." I asked J, who is 13, why he talked like that. He said, "Because it's silly." I said, "No, it's not silly, it sounds ridiculous coming from a teenager. You need to stop it. Now." He just said 'okay' and moved on.

He's a tiring kid sometimes. I had a long talk with husband about it yesterday and I said I thought J was regressing. Husband thinks J is trying to compete with K (7) for our attention. We share the love - we don't play favorites between the kids.

Sometimes Jared's maturity level is way down. We know he was neglected in his birth home and he probably didn't get the nurturing he needed. A lot of times he acts like he is 3, 4 or 5 years old. He doesn't do the temper tantrum thing, but his voice goes to a higher pitch and babyish. Some days are better or worse than others. I hope he listened to me when I said 'you need to stop it' and stops it.

Last week of the quarter

My son J has until this Friday to get his act together and bring up all his grades. Friday is the last day of the term/quarter. He can try and make up any missed assignments and get them handed in. I hope he is able to manage this small task. If his next report card shows mostly A's and a couple B's, then he gets back all electronics that were taken away (cell phone, Nintendo DS and games, other handheld games, use of family Wii). You'd think that would make any 13 year old jump for joy. We'll see.

The other day I had checked online grades and saw that he was dinged 15 points on a Language Arts assignment. When he was asked why he didn't complete it, he said, "I didn't want to. I don't like doing it." Oh wow, what an awful lot of emotions that were going through me at that moment! I told him that in the working world, if you find something that you don't want to do and avoid it, you'd most likely get fired. He is so lazy and irresponsible and it annoys the heck out of me! There must be a way to get past this. There must be a book to tell us parents what to do besides throwing in the towel (which, by the way, I refuse to do because I believe in my child and I know he has the capability of doing better).

How do you get a young teen to realize his potential???